All in Kaitlyn

Miss K was supposed to clean the play room tonight. She did not. I told her mommy would be mad. When she got out of bed a few minutes ago to tell me she isn't tired, I told her to go clean the play room. "In the middle of the night?” she exclaimed. “I've never done THAT before."
Sometimes I find myself wondering if I am starring in my own reality TV show. This realization took place as I found myself on the locked side of a bathroom door asking "are you pooping?" At a moment like that you have to look around for the camera, or at least wonder what someone listening in might think. So in case you're planning a visit, here's a heads up on some of the phrases you might hear during your stay.
With as much writing as I do, I've never been a "Christmas letter" guy. A few years ago I quietly published one as a parody that I doubt anyone actually read. Reflecting on events of the past year, and as holiday greetings arrive from assorted friends, family, and enemies around the country, I feel compelled to give it another go. Not being a Christmas letter guy, I will do my best, using letters I've received as my guide. Since it seems that every letter shares some element of random excruciating detail nobody will actually care about, I'll start there.