My liver hates me. It has to. In the past week I have had enough wine to float the Titanic.
It started (I think) over the weekend. An impromptu staff party erupted in my room and before you knew it, eight of us had finished off a case of wine(that’s twelve bottles). Try discreetly throwing away twelve bottles of wine into a dumpster sometime.
That was somewhere around Saturday-ish. Monday through Wednesday I was camping with about half the kids and five other counselors. I haven’t been camping since I was in the Boy Scouts, so the last three days were a lot of fun. We rode to the campsite in a chartered Mercedes Benz bus (seriously, this country is great), which should give you a rough idea of the type of kids we are dealing with here at CDE (Can Drink Everything). Life here is normally very structured for the kids, with very little free play. Camping was all about free time. The kids had a blast going to the watering hole, jumping off rocks, swimming in the freezing cold water, eating, hiking, eating, riding the funicular, eating, and just playing on their own. The head counselor, Dan, wouldn’t stop feeding us. We ate better while camping than we do when we’re on campus. Pasta, wine, spicy mustard chicken, salmon, wine, garlic bread, sausage, wine, eggs, hamburgers, wine—we wanted for nothing. After we introduced the kids to marshmallows and campfires, we put them to bed in their tents and introduced ourselves to more wine. I don’t want it to sound like a drunken frat party though; the kids were always in very good hands.
In other news, last Friday we had a soccer match between the CDE Counselors and the MSP (Middle School Program) counselors. Alex, our star player, unfortunately sprained his ankle pretty bad and had to be taken to the emergency room. He’ll be off his feet for another nine days (I believe there is a picture of gimpy on dorm duty around day 13, stealthily perched on the landing watching for escaping boys).
And speaking of boys…I suppose it was bound to happen. In Boston I got peed on at the Dave Matthews Band concert. In Switzerland, one of my dorm boys craps himself. Alex was on duty—this was before the ankle sprain—helping the boys with showers (unfortunately for him). Next thing you know, Ibrahim is walking out of his room holding an underwear full of shit an arms length in front of him. Alex, in his charming Brazilian accent, asks in confusion “why do you do this?!”. Ibrahim apparently just couldn’t hold it. I suppose these things happen, which is not what I was thinking when I walked into the dorm and found Alex holding a load of shit in front of him yelling at me to “get me a bag Sean PLEASE”. Alex was going to have the soiled undergarment cleaned. I looked at him very matter-of-factly and said “no”. We disposed of everything—permanently.
And some happier news…
Somehow the director of Can Drink Everything (did I mention we have wine and cheese at our staff meetings?) discovered TheRoadScholars.com. She approached me the other day and told me how wonderful some of the pictures were and that Tasis is always looking for new brochure pictures. Additionally, she would like to forward the link to the parents so they can see their kids at camp. The school has offered to reimburse me for any expenses I incur. I’m debating whether or not to give them the digital camera receipt…ha ha ha. There was one small problem, however. Betsy, the director, didn’t think it was appropriate for everyone to see pictures of drunken counselors celebrating with shot glasses and glazed expressions (I think the kicker was the photo I labeled “orgasms”, since that was the name of the shot). I have decided that it may work to my advantage to comply, as we have already established these parents have money and with the school on my side, maybe I won’t come home after all. The bottom line is that there is now a secure section on the web site affectionately dubbed the “Counselor’s Lounge”. If you would like to view these pictures, you will need the following information:
User Name: cde
Password: counselor
Just don’t tell Betsy.
My navigation skills have been improving around Lugano. The paddle boating excursion went fine last week. We did get…misguided, but it was not my fault, I was simply following Neal when we missed our turn. We knew exactly where we needed to be, but with one-way streets and hills, we just didn’t know how to get there. I did, however, manage to drop off a bunch of people at a club that night and drive back to campus all by myself. My confidence was not exactly bolstered when I was getting conflicting directions from the intoxicated clubbers in the back seat. I was even more nervous when, as they were getting out of the van, they handed me the half empty bottle of cheap wine they’d been drinking and asked me to “do something with this”. Oh great, this will be wonderful to explain: “no officer, I don’t speak English, I haven’t been drinking, and I have no idea where I’m going”. I made it back fine though, in the dark, by myself, and I only had to turn around once (which after paddle boating I was quite used to).
I know there is lots more to tell, but I don’t want to intimidate you all with too long of an email. Plus, we have to save something to talk about for when I come home! Ciao for now.
-S